My mom passed on the 9th of July 2006 after 2 years of being sick in a immune disease. I was 24 then.
We were incredibly close, -from when I was 9 years old it was just the two of us living together, my parents divorced when I was 6, and my older sisters moved out early. I shared absolutely everything with my mom. I even remember trying to deliberately keep a secret from her and it took me probably an hour before I asked: "Mom, do you notice anything different with me?" Lol. And so I told her.
She was always there for us sisters, to talk about life and everything we felt. She taught me early to look at everyone's action from a higher perspective, to see and understand that there was always a reason for people's (my friend's) actions and behavior, that often stemmed from their upbringing and home environments. My mom introduced me to philosophies of native people around the world, and their oneness with the earth and all living things.
When she got sick and was diagnosed in May 2004, I was studying holistic wellness (massage, holistic nutrition, Chinese medicine, Chakra balancing, muscle testing etc.) and through that had started meditating regularly. Thank God, -because it saved me going through those two years and beyond.
I met my best friend that year through University and we started going to some long weekend meditation retreats together, and I started meditating every evening. This was also when animal wisdom came into my life, and my routine was a guided meditation where one met with animals, and then I'd sit with my animal wisdom books and look up the meaning, and get into what it meant for me at that time.
During the non-guided meditations (I intuitively put together a music playlist and sat down) I spontaneously started doing past life journeys and healing. I asked to see previous lives to understand why things were happening in this life. My mom and sister were both terminally ill, my long-term boyfriend broke up with me during that time, my grand mother passed away and so much more intensity. Looking at past lives and our previous relationships made me understand the connections and contracts and more deeper the understanding on how to emotionally heal it all.
During my mom's first big treatment I started do remote healing qi-gong for her. She did qi-gong in bed when she could. After a couple of introductory lessons from a teacher I started doing it intuitively, -tuned into my mom's energy and moving intuitively with the intention to heal. Many times I got visions that I would tell my mom and she would confirm them with her own experience in both visions or conversations at the hospital. Her doctor didn't "believe" in this kind of healing but was completely amazed by my mom's recovery from the treatment, so told us to continue "whatever we were doing".
One weekend in 2005 my best friend and I did a getaway meditation weekend for ourselves, house sitting for a friend, and that's when I met my first spirit guide that would later be a part of my mediumship journey too. After one of our meditations I felt an incredibly strong energy behind my right shoulder. It was so strong that I moved and told my friend that someone was there. First it felt dark and scary so I grounded and asked my heart if this was safe to open up to. The answer was yes, and I asked the energy to show itself clearer. Immediately I heard "I'm your brother", and I asked more questions and started this channeling communication. My brother was born before me and my sisters and died as an infant. Now he was with me and I started getting used to his energy. Many times he comes through as an Archangel Michael energy, because he told me from the start that he was here to protect me, and I can always call him in when I need rest or feel ungrounded or vulnerable.
In June 2006 I stood in front of the hardest decision of my life. It had been very much agony within me for quite some time. My mom and sister were not getting better, my mom mostly suffering from horrible side effects of the illness, rather than the illness itself. She had resisted doing a treatment the doctors suggested for her lungs and lung sack, feeling it wasn't the right thing for her body, but eventually gave in to do it, to get a chance at getting better so that she could be there for my sister and her little son. I had the choice to study my next to last semester of my degree in Australia with my best friend, and for a year my intuition and heart had told me to go, and the feeling had just grown stronger and stronger. The semester started in July, and my mom was going through a lot of extra complications before her procedure.
As the story often goes, the sick get better in order to soothe their loved ones to go on, before they pass. And so did my mom. She got a little better, away from the intensive care. And my last conversation with her was in a hospital room, a few days before her procedure. She told me how much she always wanted to talk with me about life, but that some had to wait, because her lungs weren't fit for it right then. And then she told me to truly enjoy my time abroad and how much she loved me.
I left the next day, and two days later she had her procedure. They had only just started the prep, when she simply stopped breathing. The 9th of July 2006.
In. her death I couldn't connect with her for several months. Later I understood that this was a combination of both mine and her trauma that put the lid on initially.
9 months later, I went to a medium. She channels Christ energy, but after sitting with her for a while she told me that a women came in and was very persistent in wanting to talk with me. I told her that my mom and sister had passed the last year and so she decided to make an exception to her usual rule to not channel other spirits, and let my mom through. My mom told me many things about her journey, about my dad, and about what she wished she had taught me in life but what I now had to learn myself (I have now learnt that this is the alchemy of my North Node placement). She also told me how to channel her through mediumship and automatic writing.
And so our journey began.
From the spirit side she has helped me with love and understanding of myself and others, to evolve through life, to follow my soul path and trust my heart, always. She guides me in decisions and clarifies my path. She holds me in love.
At this point I also channel my brother, sister, dad and grandparents the same way, but she is often the most prominent. They all have different energies though and each help me with different missions, situations, and relationships.
July 9th was for many years the hardest day of the year for me, but the last few years it has turned into one of the most beautiful and graceful days, filled with love a special connections. When I started my business Sanctuary Within, it "so happened" that my very first channeling session with a client (I started with empowerment workshops etc. without channeling) was on July 9th. This year I have chosen to have 2 inner child healing workshops on this day, because that is how I most deeply is in my gift, to facilitate changing my clients life's. This year it is also right before the nodal shifts, -the most karmic/alchemizing energies in our astrology chart, and since this is what I have deeply alchemized within myself, it's a powerful energy to hold right now. My mom and my family on the other side is always with me, and will be with us all for this sacred day, in unconditional love. For this gift, and mediumship journey in channeling my mom, -I am forever and eternally grateful.
From my heart, to yours. ❤️ Kristina
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